Yahoo! News - Woman Knocked Unconscious While Shopping at Walmart: "Ellzey said Wal-Mart officials called later Friday to ask about her sister, and the store apologized and offered to put a DVD player on hold for her."

Yes we realized you were trampled because of our negligence, so we feel the least we can do is let you get a raincheck.

What's that I smell? A lawsuit? Yeah that's a lawsuit in the air.

The Patriotism Refuge (washingtonpost.com)

Gag order leaves troops, reporters speechless

Nan Aron, President of Alliance for Justice, on Bush's Judicial Nominees: "Clearly this process has always been designed to be a political one. Even George Washington’s first nominee to the Supreme Court didn’t make it because of his vote on the Jay Treaty. We have to remember that the President nominates, but the Senate has an equal role to play in reviewing and confirming nominees. "

Nan Aron on judicial appointments. Remember that no matter how the Executive Branch tries to play it, there are three distinct AND EQUAL branches to our government. The Senate is not holding up judicial appointments. The President is putting forward unacceptable appointees. The President appoints. The Senate decides. They don't like his appointees is sufficient numbers to allow them to be appointed. Get new appointees.

Yahoo! News - MTV Boss Slams TV Pop Talent Shows

"These programs make good TV but from a musical point of view, they do not have any value," Brent Hansen, President and Chief Executive of MTV Networks Europe told Reuters.

MTV criticizing reality TV shows like American Idol for not having any musical value? Check your kettle Brent. It may be black too.

FOXNews.com - Views - ifeminists - Zero Patience for Zero Tolerance

Today's sign of the apocalypse: I agree with something on foxnews.com. Eeew, I feel dirty.

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | War critics astonished as US hawk admits invasion was illegal

And now Mr. Perle gets a stern message from the White House. It reads simply "Tow the godddamn line, you idiot! You are not allowed to speak the truth if you wish to remain an advisor to this administration."

Google Search: arrested for possession of oxycontin

If you take your time and don't rush, you might be able to figure this one out.

Guardian Unlimited Politics | Special Reports | Protests begin but majority backs Bush visit as support for war surges: "The survey shows that public opinion in Britain is overwhelmingly pro-American with 62% of voters believing that the US is 'generally speaking a force for good, not evil, in the world'."

Great so "our closest" ally by a modest majority (62% is overwhelmingly???) thinks generally speaking we're "a force for good, not evil" Well, I be damned (by faint praise). 15% of those surveyed called us "the evil empire".

Who's fault is this... hmmm maybeeeeeee SATAN! Oh, hell let's just blame Bush, same difference.

President will be protected by 16,000 police officers

That's 1 in 9 cops in all of England protecting Dubya. It's good to be king. er... wait.

Democracy Aid '04
Two Swedes ask all EU members to help defeat Bush.

Editor's Cut
Here's an imaginative proposal to help beat Bush. Two Swedish students are proposing that every citizen of the European Union contribute one dollar to MoveOn.org, the online liberal advocacy group, to ensure that "an American president who believes in human rights and multilateral solutions" is elected in 2004. They are not supporting a particular candidate. "We leave that to the Americans."

Can you help a brother out Europe?

FARK.com: Comments Thingee (723077): "George W Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the President asks him his name. 'Billy!' 'And what is your question, Billy?' 'I have three questions: First - why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?; Second - why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?; and Third - whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?'

Just then the bell rings for recess.

George W. Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resumed, the President says,

'Okay where were we? Oh that's right - question time. Who has a question?' A different little boy puts his hand, George points him out and ask his name. 'Steve!' 'And what is your question, Steve?' 'I have five questions: First - why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?; Second - why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?; Third - whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?; Fourth - why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?; and Fifth - what happened to Billy?'"

Cute.

U.S. troops arrest Iraqi for criticising them

That's the way to make them believe in democracy American style. Yeah.

Baghdad Burning

An Iraqi's take on the current situation.

Matrix Essays

A blog dedicated to essays on The Matrix. Laugh, cry or push.

Something Awful: "Dear Ernest Borgnine, I'm fat! I'm 12 years old and almost weigh 100lbs! How can I ever look like Britney Spears with this flab hanging off me?

-Lardass in Louisiana

Stop eating so much you goddamn hippo! Ha ha, but I kid. I think there is a program called bulimia that has been really successful in curing fatness in young girls, but I'm not really sure what's all involved with it. There is also something called liposuction. It's a really easy process where they stick a hose in you and suck out all the lard. I'm going in for my 4th one next week. With these two things you should be 75lbs in no time! Glad I could help kid!"

Ah the glories of SomethingAwful.

Soros's Deep Pockets vs. Bush (washingtonpost.com): "It's incredibly ironic that George Soros is trying to create a more open society by using an unregulated, under-the-radar-screen, shadowy, soft-money group to do it,' Republican National Committee spokeswoman Christine Iverson said. 'George Soros has purchased the Democratic Party.' "

No irony is a Republican complaining about the influence of big money in politics. Fuck that. That's not irony, it's hypocrisy at its finest. It's laughable. It's actionably false. It's another reason to hate the Republican party.

I don't like the Democrats much more, but well... they generally avoid saying things this stupid. Not always, but generally. Of course monkeys at typewriters usually come up with something less stupid than that quote -- and more truthful.

KSAT.com - News - Gun-Wielding Cops Conduct Drug Sweep At School
And they didn't find anything!!! This would be one thing if they were going in after a specific known alleged criminal who was also alleged to be dangerous, but this was a random search that found no drugs! Now leaving aside the dubious constitutionality of random drug searches in schools (regardless of what the Supreme Court says), we now have random searches backed by the immediate threat of violence.

"Why did you bring that weapon to the school son?"
"To protect myself from the cops."


Brilliant.