Lowtax strikes again.

Something Awful - The Internet Makes You Stupid:

"Lifetime of Excess Achievement Award

You're probably wondering why Michael Jackson did not appear on this list. Well, he did now, bitch! I deem Jackson to be an unfair inclusion on the 'Worst Thirteen' list because he would dominate all thirteen levels. Instead I offer Michael the deliciously coveted Lifetime of Excess Achievement Award. His achievements in celebrity excess leave every other celebrity - even the creepy Middle Eastern oil barons - eating his dust. To name a few of his accomplishments:
Has repeatedly gotten away with molesting children
Has also gotten away with defending his child molestation with some sort of crazy bullshit philosophy
People used to joke that he was a black man who turned himself into a white woman. Nowadays people don't even know where the punch line to that joke went. Probably down the blood channel of a plastic surgeon's operating table. Jackson now looks more like a cross between Golem and the Crypt Keeper rubbed down with white grease paint.
He bought the Elephant Man's skeleton. It takes a special kind of celebrity to do that and not seem out of character.
He built an amusement park on his private property. And not a cool one like Cedar Point, we're talking a late 19th century creepy Euro carnival where all of the rides end up with a pop star lich performing oral sex.
Buys random zoo animals that probably die of starvation when he tries to feed them million dollar abstract paintings of naked children.
He made 'Thriller'. A positive, right? Think about this: when combined with everything else Jackson has done the proud legacy of Vincent Price is now forever tainted.
With the help of a little voodoo magic maybe I'll be giving this award to Bob Crane next year. For now Jackson has a lock on it."