edit: oh yeah... spoilers

I finally /watched/ Kill Bill this weekend. I've seen it before, but I hadn't watched it until this weekend. Tour de fo(a)rce all around. It also has the longest credit sequence of all time. 17% of all human names in every language are used in the credits. This is gonna be the first movie ever to put out a special edition that is simply a DVD full of credits.

Three scenes really caught my eye. First, the Bride and Hatori Hansu -- Sonny Chiba is and always was the man. This is the first scene in the movie that brings home the fait accompli. She will have her revenge because she asks for it. The swift change from laughably farcical to deadly serious starts here. The whole interplay between the "emperor" and the "general" with the tea is teh funny, and then that which cannot be spoken is said. The dish breaks. The swords are shown, and Bill enters the picture.

"I do this because philosophically I am in agreement with you."

We must kill Bill. His death is a forgone conclusion from this point on. Philosophically he must die. (And so he does).

I have to stop here and compliment the music. Without using known tracks (as he's done so often) QT makes his best use of music ever. Watch the Bride looking at the swords without music. Now do it with. Big difference eh? That soaring aria makes the scene. Without it, you've got a pretty girl looking at swords. With it you've got a superhero who will cut God when she meets him.

The second great scene is the Cruel Tutelage of Pei Mai. Gordon Liu (aka Johnny Mo aka Pei Mai) plays his second great role in the saga. This scene is straight over the top Kung Fu spaghetti. You've seen this scene in every movie from Rocky to Bloodsport. The talented but raw recruit goes from good to great. Two things I noted from this scene are the tinyness of Gordon Liu (think of him on top of the "hitting board" smacking the Bride on the head with his staff) and the final phase of her training. The Bride is not ready when she can break oak from three inches. The Bride is ready when she can break oak from three inches and still eat like a human. Great power is not enough. Great power wielded with wisdom is.

The third scene is the most obviously great in the movie. Once again QT has coaxed a superb performance out of Michael Madsen. "That woman deserves her revenge, (wait for it) and we deserve to die... but hell so does she." Great line, and watching Bill and Budd act is pure joy. "So she cut her way through 88 bodyguards..." "Well, there weren't really 88 of them" "Why do they..." "I guess they thought it sounds cool". Brothers with too much history. Easy in each other's company and scared as hell of one another. Budd scared of Bill, and Bill scared of Budd because he needs his help.

I watched that scene maybe 20 times. It's the best. The way Budd goes to work and gets broken down by a man he could kill with his little finger... "Clean the shitty floor, get your balls broke by a stripper, take off the fucking hat. Aren't you the man? I'm the boss of you. Some deadly viper you are." Then just when you actually feel sorry for him. Just when you care about a man that massacred nine people on a cold blooded whim, BAM rock salt to the tits -- bet that stings.

"I'm gonna bury you alive, with or without eyes, I'm gonna bury you alive. You going in the ground tonight." Q&U do such a wonderful job of evoking terror in this scene I found it hard to watch. I found it especially hard to watch because I enjoyed it. I could be that guy. "No real hatred for ya darling, but I'm putting ya in the ground." (and I'm gonna enjoy doing it).

And this brings me to my real point. QT must have had a hard-on the entire time he was making this movie.

Day 17: "Filmed hot bitches fighting. Knifed Vivica in the head."

Day 34: "Oh today man, you gotta love it, I got to film Daryl Hannah getting a swirlie!"

Day 58: "Got to film that hot lawyer bitch getting her arm chopped off today!"

Day 117: "Wow Uma Thurman sure can take a shot to the crotch."

Day 134: "Buried Uma alive today."

The film is a mysoginist's dream. Russ Meyer would be and probably was proud. A good part of this movie is hot bitches beating the shit out of each other. That's always appreciated.

I'm not saying I liked it in spite of the violence. I'm saying I liked it because of the violence. I'm saying I liked it because philosophically I agreed with its purpose. Revenge served cold with a can of whoop-ass on the side. Every character a human and deserve ain't got nothing to do with it. All of you are going in the ground tonight.

Do you know why I tell you this? Because Bill would want me to.