Slashdot | Weird Presents Anyone?: "I got (Score:4, Funny)
by Sarojin (446404) on Thursday December 25, @02:46PM (#7809229)
( Last Journal: Saturday December 06, @10:48PM )
a dildo for Christmas. From my elderly neighbor! I'm a male!
[ Reply to This ]



Re:I got (Score:4, Funny)
by solefald (314751) on Thursday December 25, @04:31PM (#7809732)
perhaps he wants you to go and fuck yourself? ;) "

OKLAHOMA CITY - Charles Wyckoff and his wife had returned home after a funeral for their son when the phone rang.

"Hey, Dad," Kevin Wyckoff said.

"Huh. Well, damn boy. We just had your funeral today," his father said Monday, according to a transcript of the call provided Wednesday by the Oklahoma Corrections Department.

"Yeah, I know. I heard," Kevin Wyckoff said.

"Well, what the hell is going on?" his father asked.

AxisofLogic/ Activism, News & Comment

Good stuff.

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Japan grows its own hip-hop

It's just like American hiphop but with fewer breakdowns.

A Bit of classic Holiday Cheer in the form of a...

Christmas Wish from Steve Martin

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.

Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth!

So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we go with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies!

Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

If Dennis Miller ever ran for political office, I'd give him a pass on everything he ever said as stand-up comedian or talk show host/guest, but I could never forgive him for Bordello of Blood.

Yahoo! News - Saddam's Capture May Aid Bin Laden Search

Uhm how?

My slashdot karma went to Excellent today. Nice:)

U.S. Gone 'Off a Cliff' In Iraq, Gingrich Says (washingtonpost.com)

Interesting. Dissent (or as Ed Gillespie likes to call it "political hate speech") from one Republican directed at another.

Sharing and Stealing - Jessica Litman - QuickTopic Document Review

Read this now.

Talking Points Memo: by Joshua Micah Marshall: November 30, 2003 - December 06, 2003 Archives

Nice name... nice blog.

Spirit pervades the network.

There is spirit in the network.

ajc.com | Opinion | Miller grows more like Maddox every day

An open letter to Georgia's Democratic (not really) Senator Zel Miller.

CorpWatch.org  - Issues  - Military Industrial Complex  - Articles  - Bechtel Fails Reconstruction of Iraq's Schools

Nice to see real reporting coming out of Iraq.

Op-Ed Contributor: Telling the Truth, Facing the Whip

Commentary on the present situation in Saudi Arabia from a former reformed terrorist.

edit: Oops free registration required

Who Tried To Bribe Rep. Smith? - Stop protecting him, Congressman. By Timothy Noah

News From KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY of DPRK: "Meeting against Evil Laws Held in S. Korea
Pyongyang, December 1 (KCNA) -- A meeting was reportedly held in Youido, Seoul on Nov. 27 to 'pass the death sentence on the law on combating terrorism and the law on rally and demonstration,' with at least 70 civic organizations including the National People's Solidarity participating. The declaration read at the meeting denounced the scheme of the 'government' to enact 'a law on combating terrorism' designed to enhance the power of the 'Intelligence Service' and retrogressively revise 'the law on rally and demonstration.'
This is an act to turn back the wheel of history and go back to the days of military dictatorship, it noted.
What must be quickly checked and controlled are the excessive power of the intelligence machine and violence of the police, it said, and added:
The 'government' deserves sharp denunciation for its scheme to frame up evil laws in a bid to suppress people with power and strength, remaining deaf to the demand of the people.
Declaring the evil laws death, we people would fight to the bitter end for human rights and democracy, the declaration said.
Earlier, the organizations held an urgent forum on the theme 'Revision of the law on rally and demonstration and crisis of democracy' to discuss a program of action to prevent the passage of the bill on its revision at the 'national assembly'. "

Just wanted to keep you up to date on the latest from Pyongyang.

Kim Jong Il (the illmatic)'s Journal

IM chats with everyone's favorite dictator License2KimJongill. Good stuff.

ZDNet UK - News - North Korea launches 'secure' email: "It remains illegal for any South Koreans to email their northern neighbors without government permission. "

Fighting censorship and oppression with... well, censorship and oppression. Interesting.

Yahoo! News - Rumsfeld Ramble Wins 'Foot in Mouth' Award

The Poetry of Rumsfeld wins an award (albeit the "Foot in Mouth" award).

Slyck News - GAO Report: P2P Legitimate

Ah the Government Accounting Office... all politicians whipping child -- an objective government agency.

Guest Opinion: Bush makes protesters 'disappear' - billingsgazette.com

Is it me, or is Dubya starting to looklike a Dr. Suess drawn caricature of himself.

Photo grabbed from Drudge of all places. This is the best that he can find?

Yahoo! News - Woman Knocked Unconscious While Shopping at Walmart: "Ellzey said Wal-Mart officials called later Friday to ask about her sister, and the store apologized and offered to put a DVD player on hold for her."

Yes we realized you were trampled because of our negligence, so we feel the least we can do is let you get a raincheck.

What's that I smell? A lawsuit? Yeah that's a lawsuit in the air.

The Patriotism Refuge (washingtonpost.com)

Gag order leaves troops, reporters speechless

Nan Aron, President of Alliance for Justice, on Bush's Judicial Nominees: "Clearly this process has always been designed to be a political one. Even George Washington’s first nominee to the Supreme Court didn’t make it because of his vote on the Jay Treaty. We have to remember that the President nominates, but the Senate has an equal role to play in reviewing and confirming nominees. "

Nan Aron on judicial appointments. Remember that no matter how the Executive Branch tries to play it, there are three distinct AND EQUAL branches to our government. The Senate is not holding up judicial appointments. The President is putting forward unacceptable appointees. The President appoints. The Senate decides. They don't like his appointees is sufficient numbers to allow them to be appointed. Get new appointees.

Yahoo! News - MTV Boss Slams TV Pop Talent Shows

"These programs make good TV but from a musical point of view, they do not have any value," Brent Hansen, President and Chief Executive of MTV Networks Europe told Reuters.

MTV criticizing reality TV shows like American Idol for not having any musical value? Check your kettle Brent. It may be black too.

FOXNews.com - Views - ifeminists - Zero Patience for Zero Tolerance

Today's sign of the apocalypse: I agree with something on foxnews.com. Eeew, I feel dirty.

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | War critics astonished as US hawk admits invasion was illegal

And now Mr. Perle gets a stern message from the White House. It reads simply "Tow the godddamn line, you idiot! You are not allowed to speak the truth if you wish to remain an advisor to this administration."

Google Search: arrested for possession of oxycontin

If you take your time and don't rush, you might be able to figure this one out.

Guardian Unlimited Politics | Special Reports | Protests begin but majority backs Bush visit as support for war surges: "The survey shows that public opinion in Britain is overwhelmingly pro-American with 62% of voters believing that the US is 'generally speaking a force for good, not evil, in the world'."

Great so "our closest" ally by a modest majority (62% is overwhelmingly???) thinks generally speaking we're "a force for good, not evil" Well, I be damned (by faint praise). 15% of those surveyed called us "the evil empire".

Who's fault is this... hmmm maybeeeeeee SATAN! Oh, hell let's just blame Bush, same difference.

President will be protected by 16,000 police officers

That's 1 in 9 cops in all of England protecting Dubya. It's good to be king. er... wait.

Democracy Aid '04
Two Swedes ask all EU members to help defeat Bush.

Editor's Cut
Here's an imaginative proposal to help beat Bush. Two Swedish students are proposing that every citizen of the European Union contribute one dollar to MoveOn.org, the online liberal advocacy group, to ensure that "an American president who believes in human rights and multilateral solutions" is elected in 2004. They are not supporting a particular candidate. "We leave that to the Americans."

Can you help a brother out Europe?

FARK.com: Comments Thingee (723077): "George W Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the President asks him his name. 'Billy!' 'And what is your question, Billy?' 'I have three questions: First - why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?; Second - why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?; and Third - whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?'

Just then the bell rings for recess.

George W. Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resumed, the President says,

'Okay where were we? Oh that's right - question time. Who has a question?' A different little boy puts his hand, George points him out and ask his name. 'Steve!' 'And what is your question, Steve?' 'I have five questions: First - why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?; Second - why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?; Third - whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?; Fourth - why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?; and Fifth - what happened to Billy?'"

Cute.

U.S. troops arrest Iraqi for criticising them

That's the way to make them believe in democracy American style. Yeah.

Baghdad Burning

An Iraqi's take on the current situation.

Matrix Essays

A blog dedicated to essays on The Matrix. Laugh, cry or push.

Something Awful: "Dear Ernest Borgnine, I'm fat! I'm 12 years old and almost weigh 100lbs! How can I ever look like Britney Spears with this flab hanging off me?

-Lardass in Louisiana

Stop eating so much you goddamn hippo! Ha ha, but I kid. I think there is a program called bulimia that has been really successful in curing fatness in young girls, but I'm not really sure what's all involved with it. There is also something called liposuction. It's a really easy process where they stick a hose in you and suck out all the lard. I'm going in for my 4th one next week. With these two things you should be 75lbs in no time! Glad I could help kid!"

Ah the glories of SomethingAwful.

Soros's Deep Pockets vs. Bush (washingtonpost.com): "It's incredibly ironic that George Soros is trying to create a more open society by using an unregulated, under-the-radar-screen, shadowy, soft-money group to do it,' Republican National Committee spokeswoman Christine Iverson said. 'George Soros has purchased the Democratic Party.' "

No irony is a Republican complaining about the influence of big money in politics. Fuck that. That's not irony, it's hypocrisy at its finest. It's laughable. It's actionably false. It's another reason to hate the Republican party.

I don't like the Democrats much more, but well... they generally avoid saying things this stupid. Not always, but generally. Of course monkeys at typewriters usually come up with something less stupid than that quote -- and more truthful.

KSAT.com - News - Gun-Wielding Cops Conduct Drug Sweep At School
And they didn't find anything!!! This would be one thing if they were going in after a specific known alleged criminal who was also alleged to be dangerous, but this was a random search that found no drugs! Now leaving aside the dubious constitutionality of random drug searches in schools (regardless of what the Supreme Court says), we now have random searches backed by the immediate threat of violence.

"Why did you bring that weapon to the school son?"
"To protect myself from the cops."


Brilliant.

WOMAN CHARGED AFTER BABY BITE ATTACK

It's a new Fox special: "When Babies Attack!"

Yahoo! News - 'Price Is Right' Announcer Rod Roddy Dies

And God says, "Rod Roddy, come on down!"

Silicon Valley - Dan Gillmor's eJournal - White House Website and History: http://www.whitehouse.gov/robots.txt

For techies: Copy and paste the the robots.txt link into your browser to see what doesn't get archived.

Silicon Valley - Dan Gillmor's eJournal - White House Website and History

Put simply the White House is blocking search engines from archiving certain parts of their website, including any page that mentions Iraq. This would be a fairly simple way to make it more difficult for people to find previous White House statements that contained inaccuracies (or lies) and compare them to current statements.

A techie doesn't come up with this kind of policy. Bush probably didn't either, but he's the boss. And from the top down do these policies trickle. Just another stonewall in the face of open government.

I gotta brag on this for a second. I'm in my Mom's living room which I have setup as a true computer/multimedia crossover heaven. Let's look at this system:
A good CPU (Athlon 2K, 60 GB, 512, dual g4 440s, tv tuner, CDRW, DVD)
Dual 15 inch LCDs
27 inch TV
Logitech z680s

I ran wire under the carpet and everything... well it works the way it should. Computer on the TV, TV on the computer... recording capabilities, playback, good sound, secondary sound, tertiary sound... it's just good stuff.

Gallery :: your photos on your website: "'I have to admit I was a little nervous. I have not played with scripts or PHP much (ok, not at all) and I was a little nervous about all those comments, FAQ's and questions in the forum. But to my surprise..it was very easy. I had the photo album up and running within a couple hours. Thank you for writing a great script. '
Paul Tocknell
11/20/2002 "

The difference between Linux and M$ users in testimonial form. To a Windoze user anything that takes "a couple hours" to install isn't worth doing. For us it's just par for the course:)

What kind of guy would allegedly smuggle "dangerous" objects onto an airplane and then write the FBI about it? Call his Dad and find out!

Domain Name.......... ajheatwole.com
Creation Date........ 2001-08-28
Registration Date.... 2001-08-28
Expiry Date.......... 2004-08-28
Organisation Name.... Antony J. Heatwole
Organisation Address. 11301 Moxley Road
Organisation Address.
Organisation Address. Damascus
Organisation Address. 20872
Organisation Address. MD
Organisation Address. UNITED STATES

Admin Name........... Antony Heatwole
Admin Address........ 11301 Moxley Road
Admin Address........
Admin Address........ Damascus
Admin Address........ 20872
Admin Address........ MD
Admin Address........ UNITED STATES
Admin Email.......... aheatwole@alum.mit.edu
Admin Phone.......... 301-253-8808
Admin Fax............

Apparently this guy is an MIT alum... He's also a possible ham radio enthusiast, and the son of the author of a well known guide to Shenandoah National Park

Slashdot: News for nerds, stuff that matters: "One of the greatest mysteries of today is whether a pirate is good or bad. On one hand, Disney campaigns against digital piracy while making a movie, 'Pirates of the Caribbean', pushing a theme park ride that celebrates life under the Jolly Roger. On one hand, we celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day, while on the other hand this fine, upstanding investment company was fined $19.7m for copyright infringement"

Oh precious irony.

Slashdot | MS Patents IM Feature Used Since At Least 1996

Another strange and obviously invalid software patent. When will the patent office get it?

News - Ottawa - canada.com network -- Canada could face sperm shortage

"Canada could face a serious shortage of sperm for artificial insemination because of legislation that would ban payment to donors, critics say.

Infertile couples who hope to have a baby through donor insemination could be thwarted by the Assisted Human Reproduction Act, now nearing third reading in the Commons, some say.

Canada already depends on sperm from the United States to meet most of its needs, and the main U.S. supplier says the bill's ban on payment could threaten its Canadian operation."

Hmm. I was gonna bash Canada, but well... you know.

Ace Of Spades - Lyrics:
Ace Of Spades
If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man,
You win some, lose some, all the same to me,
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say,
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
The Ace Of Spades
Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,
Going with the flow, it's all the same to me,
Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you,
Double up or quit, double stake or split,
The Ace Of Spades
You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby,
I don't wanna live for ever,
And don't forget the joker!
Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me,
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again,
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,
The Ace Of Spades

--Lemmy is cool.

Yahoo! News - Poll: Most Favor CIA Leak Special Counsel

Where's Ken Starr when you need him?

NEWS.com.au | Beer saves man's life (October 2, 2003)

Amen.

Journal of yerricde (125198)

An interesting theory on improbability of a composer writing an original piece of music.

Women say Arnold groped, humiliated them

I wondered when these stories were gonna get lobbed out there. When Ahnuld put out political feelers in 2000 these stories surfaced right away.

The Straight Dope: Was George W. Bush AWOL during his time in the National Guard?

Short answer: Yes.

Newsday.com: Texas University Shuts Down Bake Sale

From the story:
"The sale was organized by the Young Conservatives of Texas, who said it was intended as a protest of affirmative action.

A sign said white males had to pay $1 for a cookie. The price was 75 cents for white women, 50 cents for Hispanics and 25 cents for blacks.

Members of the conservative group said they meant no offense and were only trying to protest the use of race or gender as a factor in college admissions."

"This was not an issue about free speech," Tim Moore, director of the SMU student center, said in a story for Thursday's edition of The Dallas Morning News. "It was really an issue where we had a hostile environment being created."

Interesting. Point out hypocrisy and you create "a hostile environment". College just doesn't seem very fun anymore.

mini-itx.com - news - Via unveils 12cm by 12cm Motherboard

That's right it's about 5x5 inches

Netscape News -- Reliance on Microsoft called risk to U.S. security

Reliance on any single platform is a security risk. OS diversity provides security.

Los Altos Online -- Gen. Shelton shocks Celebrity Forum, says he won't support Clark for president: "'That question makes me wish it were vodka,' said Shelton. 'I've known Wes for a long time. I will tell you the reason he came out of Europe early had to do with integrity and character issues, things that are very near and dear to my heart. I'm not going to say whether I'm a Republican or a Democrat. I'll just say Wes won't get my vote.'"

Interesting. I can think of only two reasons that a retired General would openly criticize a former subordinate. Either Clark is a very bad man, or (insert Republican conspiracy theory here).

MSN quits chat services worldwide: "“This is a decision based upon consumer experiences, child protection and our strategic investment to build up MSN Messenger,” Sutton said."

They're hyping this a "child protection" move. Don't let them fool you. "Child protection" (and how M$ can protect your children better than you can is beyond me) may be a side benefit, but this is really an attempt to block other IM services from connecting to MSN Messenger. Two or three monopolies (OS, productivity suite, browser)is not enough for M$ they want IM also.

Why? Think mobile.

Great Sports Moments I Have Seen Live (on the tele)

1. Kirk Gibson's game one World Series home run off Dennis Ekersley (sic?). The most dramatic home run I have ever seen.

2. The Music City Miracle -- The Tennessee Titans beat the Buffalo Bills on a 75 yard last second kickoff return thanks a field wide lateral (or illegal forrward pass if you're a Bills fan) from Frank Wycheck to Kevin Dyson. One of the more jaw dropping endings I've ever seen in any sport.

3. Nick Anderson beats Indiana with a three quarters court buzzer beater. The 89-90 "Flying Illini" were one of the best college teams ever assembled. All five Illini starters, Kendall Gill, Stephen Bardo, Kenny Battle, Nick Anderson and Lowell Hamilton were drafted into the NBA (though Hamilton never made a team).

At Indiana the Illini were tied with 2 seconds on the clock, when Illinois inbounded the ball from Indiana's baseline to the inside playing Anderson 75 feet from the basket, it was apparent that Illinois was content with overtime. Anderson apparently was not, for he turned took one dribble toward the basket and let fly a two handed from the hip push shot that grabbed nothing but net. Illinois wins by 3.

4. The Comeback -- Down 35-3 early in the second half the Buffalo Bills looked throughly beaten by the Warren Moon lead Houston Oilers. Bills starting quarterback Jim Kelly was injured and backup Frank Reich looked to have the hapless job of trying to pound out a few second half points to make the score respectable. Instead Reich led the Bills to 38 point second half to beat the Oilers 41-38 in overtime.

5. USA 3 - Portugal 2 -- Portugal was a favorite to win the 2002 World Cup with their mixture of seasoned veterans and young talent. The USA, while not completely overmatched, was known for their conservative offense, dogged defense, and good goalkeeping. Imagine everyone's surprise when the USA came out in the first half and dropped three goals in 30 minutes on the Portuguese. Portugal made a game of it in the second half, but the US held on for the victory that gave them just enough momentum to make the second round (thank you Korea!).

The Monitor - Local - Parents seek to join 1950s... again

Republican Official Claims Dissent is "political hate speech"

Ed Gillispie you're an asshole.

Now there's some political hate speech.

Issa urges "No" vote on California recall.

Whiny crybaby Darrell Issa, the major financial backer of the CA recall effort, is urging voters to vote "No" on the recall if Republican candidates Ahnold and Tom McClintock stay in the race.

Says Issa (who coincidentally has been charged though not convicted of car theft three times), ``If there are two Republicans in this race when people cast their votes, there is an absolute guarantee that Cruz Bustamante will be the governor.''

Odd, I thought it was Gray Davis' alleged incompetence that was the issue here. Apparently it's simply a power grab by Republicans and has nothing to do with better governance for the people of the state of CA.

I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you

Robert Novak: The trouble with Wes

From the size of the guns conservatives are breaking out either they don't have much on Clark or they are scared as hell of him. Probably both.

USATODAY.com - Amanpour: CNN practiced self-censorship

Said Amanpour: "I think the press was muzzled, and I think the press self-muzzled. I'm sorry to say, but certainly television and, perhaps, to a certain extent, my station was intimidated by the administration and its foot soldiers at Fox News. And it did, in fact, put a climate of fear and self-censorship, in my view, in terms of the kind of broadcast work we did."

Let's examine this... On second thought let's not it's too scary. Instead let's take a jab at Fox News. Later in the story:]

Fox News spokeswoman Irena Briganti said of Amanpour's comments: "Given the choice, it's better to be viewed as a foot soldier for Bush than a spokeswoman for al-Qaeda."

How about simply being "Fair and Balanced" like you claim?

Yahoo! News - Music Legend Johnny Cash Dies at 71

When I was just a baby,
My Momma told me son,
"Always be a good boy,
don't ever play with guns."
But I shot a man in Reno,
Just to watch him die.
When I hear that blowin
I hang my head and cry.

The man in black waiting in line to talk to a white robed St. Peter at the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, "Next."

The singer walks up and says, "Hello, I'm Johnny Cash."

Yahoo! News - AIDS Activist Jason Robertson Dies at 23

Sad. Persecuted as a little boy for trying to attend regular grade school, Robertson, who contracted AIDS via blood products used to treat his hemophilia, could not take new medications that could have kept him alive for they aggravated the condition that caused him to get AIDS in the first place.

Ironic and not funny.

Google is cool.

I golfed with Dad yesterday. Shot a 48 on a par 36. I hit a beautiful 7-iron onto a 140 yard par 3. It landed about 8 feet below the hole and stuck. My ball was about six inches from the ball mark. One of them, "Oh yeah that's why I do this" shots. I just hit the ball 410 feet. That's a mammoth homerun in baseball, and that's only a seven iron. With good wind and a little downhill action, I can drive the ball 275 yards. That's a sixth of a mile! And I play short!

Anyhoo... great seven... of course I two putted /grrr/, but a par is a par.

USATODAY.com - Rummaging through the recycle bin of Net obsessions

Yep... but Kibo is older school than me.

LUGOD: Reasons to avoid Microsoft

ESPN.com - Page2 - Worst Pro Teams of All-time: "7. 1962 Mets (40-120)
Casey Stengel knew what he had to work with.

'When one of them hits a single to you,' he advised his outfielders, 'throw the ball to third. That way we can hold them to a double.' "

Classic.

Tech News - CNET.com Rockin' on without Microsoft

Great story on Ernie Ball (they make guitar strings), in 2000 they got jacked by M$ and the ever-evil BSA to the tune of $100,000 for having nine computers on the network that didn't have properly licensed software. Facing a $500,000 legal bill just to start the fight, Ernie Ball settled rather than litigated even though the CEO, Sterling Ball, believes to this day his company was compliant.

During the settlement negotiations, Ball made a courageous decision. He said "Fuck Microsoft"... well not literally (though on reading the story you get the feeling he did actually say that at some point), what he did say was "I don't care if we have to buy 10,000 abacuses, We won't do business with someone who treats us poorly." And then he dumped all M$ software. All of it. He's been running RedHat for three years now.

This is a great article that really cuts through all the FUD M$ puts out about Linux. Linux according to Ball has lower TCO, requires less support, increases productivity, and uses less expensive hardware. No shit.

He's also dumping Unixware because of SCO's assinine litigation against IBM over Linux:)

In close:

Sterling Ball == Hero

BBspot - SCO Group to Shoot Babies

Funny.

Fox Sues Humorist Al Franken Over Slogan (washingtonpost.com)

Why? This is a fair and balanced blog. Sue me.

mcsey's jumppage

Ugh... this has nothing to do with anything but I switched mail clients today to uh... Outlook 2000. You see what had happened was that I wanted to run this Bayesian spam filter to see if it works. Then maybe I can sell some clients on Outlook with super spam filtering for the people that complain.

Georgy For Governor Blog: "Onto an inexperinced, yet high profile, candidate I haven't addressed much - Arnold. To those who cite Proposition 49 as 'experience,' realize this is Arnold's PR machine at work. The proposition simply earmarked existing funds, it did not give any new funds to the school system, just rearranged how they were spent. The crafty proposition did, however, set a stage in the minds of Californians, upon which Arnold is now acting out his political fantasy. Today, it's quite possible anyone who loves the Terminator, but wonders about his ability to govern, will think back to last year, faintly recollecting Arnold spearheaded prop 49, and subsequently convincing himself it's ok to vote for Arnold. This is what he's hoping for, I'm hoping people will see thru this blatant manipulation of the electorate, and ask the Terminator, how exactly do you plan to pump up the economy? I've been asked a wide array of questions, and have tried to answer as many as possible directly in emails or through my issue positions. If Arnold were subject to this depth and breadth of questioning, I guarantee Arnold would 'falter,' wondering where his teleprompter is, resorting to the 'I'll be back' defense and running for the nearest advisor. "

Go Georgy GO!

The Sun Newspaper Online - UK's biggest selling newspaper: "Clooney said: “It’s ridiculous — Lewinsky performs a sex act on the president therefore we attack Iraq.”"

George Clooney's essentially correct view on the cause of the war in Iraq.

Yahoo! News - Mavs boss: NBA gains from attention paid to Bryant

And now... Watch a guy crucified for speaking the truth.

sacbee.com -- AP State Wire News -- Report: Marines dropped devices similar to Napalm on Iraqi troops

And...?

Put another way, whether I agree with the war or not, once we go, we go. Surrender was always an alternative for the Iraqi army. It worked pretty well in the first Gulf War.

http://www.georgyforgov.com/

Hottest candidate for governor of California. Go Georgy!

And from the left I bring you... Conceptual Guerilla

Damn it feels good to be a dancer.

CRUD REPORT FLASH 2002®: "VT GOP Chair Calls on Dean to Open Record To Public
Thu Jul 31 2003 15:43:44 ET

Montpelier, VT - Vermont Republican Party Chairman Jim Barnett today called on former Governor and presidential candidate Howard Dean to open his gubernatorial record to public scrutiny. Dean has sealed his papers for a decade.

'If Howard Dean plans to run on his record in Vermont, he needs to share that record with the public' said Barnett. 'The American people should not just have to take his word for it.'

'By refusing to subject his record to public scrutiny, Howard Dean is telling the American people to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,' Barnett continued.

'If Howard Dean is serious about straight talk, he can start by being upfront with the American people about his tenure as Governor of Vermont. If he doesn't open his record, it obviously means there's something he wants to hide from us,' said Barnett.

END"

The irony of a Republican calling for a candidate to open his records after what the current administration has done to open government is so... 90's. Think Cheney and energry comission. Think Bush and the Saudi intelligence report. Think the whole executive branch and any number of its own reports it didn't like the facts in... I guess they have something to hide.

Something Awful - The Internet Makes You Stupid:

"There are two freakishly nauseating mutant spawn on the box, one of which looks like a 40-pound fetus undergoing chemotherapy and wearing an adult diaper, and the other resembling a monkey-human hybrid who has suffered buckshot wounds to her face and has Cthulu-esque tentacles protruding from her greasy orange eggplant skull. If that doesn't sell a breakfast cereal, I don't know what would."

I couldn't describe Tommy Pickles or Eliza Thornberry better myself.

Sunday Times: US army admits Iraq suicides [ 23jul03 ]

In answer to a prior query posed on this blog, yes it seems that "non-hostile gunshot incidents" does in fact mean suicide. In fairness weapons cleaning accidents are included in this category as well.

"'In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.'"

--Yogi Berra

Challenging the Qur’an:

Still, Luxenberg may be ushering in a whole new era of Qur’anic study. “Luxenberg’s findings are very relevant and convincing,” says Mondher Sfar, a Tunisian specialist on the historic origins of the Qur’an in exile in Paris. “They make possible a new interpretation of the Qur’an.” In the West, questioning the literal veracity of the Bible was a crucial step in breaking the church’s grip on power—and in developing a modern, secular society. That experience, as much as the questioning itself, is no doubt what concerns conservative Muslims as they struggle over the meaning and influence of Islam in the 21st century. But if Luxenberg’s work is any indication, the questioning is just getting underway.

Raisins... not virgins?

Interesting.

Leonard's Legal Barn:

" A 'dance mixtape' that Leonard made which consists of 68 solid minutes of sounds from Leonard's washing machine trying to clean a car battery."

Read www.somethingawful.com.

BBC - h2g2 - How To Understand Statistics:

"Think about how stupid the average person is; now realise half of them are dumber than that.
- George Carlin"

Dumbass!

Yeah in case you're wondering, that is George W. Bush desecrating a flag.

Romancing the Rosetta Stone

Badass idea of the week (and it's only Monday!). This guy wrote software that allows you to feed it some translations of books in different languages, and then the software trains itself to translate /anything/ between said languages. What's particularly cool is that the software knows nothing of grammar and doesn't use dictionaries. It uses "experience" from previous translations to make the current translation. His software recently won a translation contest among 23 competing products.

Best Thing Ever^TM

Yahoo! News - Pro-Bush Group Uses Carrier Photo to Raise Funds

Is this supposed to be even remotely suprising?

Yahoo! News - Cubans make freedom bid in floating Chevy truck

Top of Yahoo! a day after I blogged it. About time;)

And not so good to be Wil Wheaton today.

Herald.com - Cubans try to 'drive' over Florida Straits More on the truck from the last post. The Coast Guard sank the truck:(

Yahoo! News - Top Stories Photos - AP
12 guys try to cross the Florida Straights in a boat made of 55 gallon plastic drums and 1951 Chevy truck. It looks very much like they're driving across the water. Unfortunately about halfway across they were picked up by the Coast Guard and returned to Cuba. I understand the policy, but shouldn't there be a prize for novelty? Come on! I bet GM would like to have that truck.

It's good to be Wil Wheaton these days.

Pop icon Michael Jackson comes out against locking up music pirates

I was just thinking yesterday about getting the artists involved in the coming lawsuits. Interesting...

Yahoo! News - Researchers: Hackers to Abuse Cisco Flaw

SAN JOSE, Calif. - A day after Cisco Systems Inc. warned of a serious software flaw in networking gear that routes Internet traffic, researchers said hackers had figured how to cripple the equipment.

There were no immediate reports of outages, but that was expected to change, the Computer Emergency Response Team, a taxpayer-funded group at Carnegie Mellon University, said Friday in an advisory.

"This exploit allows an attacker to interrupt the normal operation of a vulnerable device," the CERT advisory said. "We believe it is likely that intruders will begin using this or other exploits to cause service outages."

No shit? I bet they report the Pope will wear a funny hat next.

Yahoo! News - Found Body May Be British Weapons Adviser

Kelly, a 59-year-old former U.N. weapons inspector, was at the center of a political storm over allegations that Blair's office altered intelligence on Iraq's alleged weapons programs to support the decision to join the U.S.-led war in Iraq. The government denies the claim.

Ready, set, develop conspiracy theory.

Yahoo! News - Democrat Eyes Potential Grounds for Bush Impeachment

Without getting political in this post, I predicted during the 1998 Clinton/Lewinsky brouhaha that politicians were setting the bar for presidential impeachment so low that three of the next five presidents would face impeachment precedings. I don't think this will go anywhere, but it's always the cover up that gets ya. Ain't that right Slick Willy? Wouldn't you say so Tricky Dick? How about you Ronnie?

Tangentially, thinking of the Iran/Contra affair reminded of a great sketch I saw on an SNL repeat the other day. In it Reagan is doing the doting grandpa thing on some girl scout, and then as soon as the cameras are gone he turns around pulls down all these maps and starts minutely detailing Iran/Contra to his befuddled advisors. Between Phil Hartman's incredible Reagan impression and the complete switch in personality every time a "civilian" enters the room, it's a hilarious sketch.

Frankie Mayo's 300th MP Donation Page

Frankie Mayo is sending air condtioners to the troops in Iraq. Short of a ticket home, I can't think of a much better thing to send the guys and gals over there.

The Army in its immortal wisdom says that AC's are nice, but what the troops really need is moist towelettes(sic) (frickin' baby wipes!). I think KFC really needs to step up here.

Yahoo! Sports: "Juan Antonio Flecha of Spain won Stage 11 of the Tour de France
on Thursday. The following are the top 20 overall cyclists:

1. Lance Armstrong (USA) 49 hours, 16 minutes 37 seconds
2. Alexandre Vinokourov (Kazakhstan) 21 seconds behind
3. Iban Mayo (Spain) 1:02
4. Francisco Mancebo (Spain) 1:37
5. Tyler Hamilton (USA) 1:52
6. Jan Ullrich (Germany) 2:10
7. Ivan Basso (Italy) 2:25
8. Roberto Heras (Spain) 2:28
9. Haimar Zubeldia (Spain) 3:25
10. Denis Menchov (Russia) 3:45

2003 Results of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Bad writing done well. Hint: There's a specific category for stories that start with, "It was a dark and stormy night."

My favorite, from the "Vile Pun" section:

Sarah felt bored and unsatisfied, even though her job as a nurse's aide included helping patients and keeping track of the billiards equipment in the recreation room at the Venereal Disease Treatment Center, and she wondered what her mother had been thinking all those years when she repeatedly told her that a young lady should mind herpes and cues.

Brad Jolly
Longmont, CO

Yahoo! News - Masturbating Lowers Prostate Cancer Risk -Study: "
Australian scientists have shown that the more men masturbate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop the disease that kills more than half a million men each year. "

Wow! I must be in 0% risk category!

NEWS.com.au | Shocks await coma victim (July 16, 2003): "SLOWLY but surely, Terry Wallis is rediscovering his world. After 19 years in a coma he has a lot of catching up to do.

But now the crash victim's family are steeling themselves to break the news that during those lost years his wife had three children by another man.
They will also have to tell him the daughter he remembers as a six-week-old baby is now working as a stripper. "

It's enough to make a guy want to go back to sleep for a little while.

Augusta Chronicle - Reserves wanting to leave Mideast 07/12/03:

About 130 men and women from the 319th remain in Kuwait. Most of the soldiers arrived in mid-February, and a forward team of 20 soldiers has been there since November.
During the first two weeks of the war, the 319th hauled all the bulk fuel for the 1st Marine Expeditionary Force in its drive to Baghdad, a job that took them through hostile territory and into ambushes and firefights.
The 319th is now working for the Army's 260th Quartermaster Battalion. It is stationed at Camp Arifjan, south of Kuwait City.
Soldiers say most of their work involves civilian contractor Kellogg Brown and Root, a subsidiary of Vice President Dick Cheney's former company, Halliburton Corp. The company has contracts to haul fuel, and 319th members are riding along as armed escorts.
'The main reason we're still here is to support Brown and Root,' said Sgt. 1st Class David Uthe, 45, of Augusta.

Interesting.

Defense labels flashing charge physically impossible

The old little dick defense... sweet. A woman claims to see a "semi-erect penis" protruding three inches from her locksmith's shorts. Locksmith says "That's not possible. My dick is only four inches long fully erect!" Funny story.

I've been reading far too much Slate recently. I probably feel like a lot of Republicans did during the leadup to the Clinton impeachment debacle. I just cannot believe that people aren't more pissed about the whole "White House lies about the war" thing. Back then GOP members were going apeshit over Clinton's blow-job and his on the stand equivocations, and the rest of the country yawned and threw them out of office in 1998 midterm elections (bye-bye Newt).

Now Bush lies to the Congress and the Nation during his constitutionally mandated report the Congress, then equivocates about whether or not it was lie, admits it was a lie -- but not his lie (It was the Brits! The CIA got it wrong!), claims it was a short lie so it doesn't really count, and I get the feeling the country doesn't really care. Oh well...

Yahoo! News - Red Planet never closer than now: "Close passages occur every few years as Earth, which runs a faster inside track around the sun, laps its planetary peer. For sky watchers, the excitement arises from the fact that on Aug. 27, the two planets pass as close as they ever get -- about 35 million miles apart instead of the usual distance of about 60 million miles. This will allow a particularly nice view of Mars."

Yahoo! News - Malaysian man severs, cooks and eats own penis

KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) - A 34-year-old Malaysian man, believed to have been high on drugs, severed, cooked and ate his own penis, local media reported.

The man, who was previously diagnosed as mentally unstable, is said to have done so after having taken drugs and awoke in the middle of the night hearing voices telling him to do so.

"The man then wrapped his penis in a piece of cloth, burnt and ate it," a police spokesman was quoted as saying by the Bernama news agency.

He didn't even cook it properly!

Yahoo! Sports:
1. Lance Armstrong (USA) 40 hours, 15 minutes 26 seconds
2. Alexandre Vinokourov (Kazakhstan) 21 seconds behind
3. Iban Mayo (Spain) 1:02
4. Francisco Mancebo (Spain) 1:37
5. Tyler Hamilton (USA) 1:52
6. Jan Ullrich (Germany) 2:10
7. Ivan Basso (Italy) 2:25
8. Roberto Heras (Spain) 2:28
9. Haimar Zubeldia (Spain) 3:25
10. Denis Menchov (Russia) 3:45
11. Roberto Laiseka (Spain) 4:03"

Cool

Slate -- Bush's Data Dump The administration is hiding bad economic news. Here's how.

More lies, equivocations, and obfuscations from the White House. Good article that's heavy on examples.

Yahoo! News - Bush says CIA Cleared Iraq Uranium Claim

Buck = Passed

Or as a witty farker pointed out that headline should read, "CIA ordered to fall on own sword."

Bush Defends U.S. Justification for Iraq War (washingtonpost.com): "Asked for the first time about the uranium issue, Bush said: 'There's going to be a lot of attempts to rewrite history.'"

You know like the White House did when they made things up and called them true and then used them as reasons for going to war. Imagine what would have happened to Clinton in the same situation. Republicans would be calling for his execution! If lying about a blow job under oath = grounds for impeachment then lying about another country so you can send more than 200 Americans (and 4-7K Iraqi civilians) to their deaths = ?

If I had to answer, I'd say grounds for war crimes charges at least.

I've been listening to Youngblood Brass Band for a while now, and I recently found a song I had a while ago called Acousticon Theme. That is one slammin horn line I tell ya.

Bush Defends Pre-War Intelligence on Iraq << Headline on Drudge...

And I'm thinking Bush should be defending his intelligence on any number of issues;)

U.S. Newswire - Vietnam Veteran Files Constitutional Challenge to 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' and Federal Sodomy Statute

Steve Loomis, Purple Heart recipient and Vietnam combat veteran, is seeking to end the Army's "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy with a lawsuit. Good for him, but the most galling part of the story is near the end.

The Army discharged LTC Loomis, a former engineer war plans officer, for being gay eight days prior to his twenty year retirement date. As a result, LTC Loomis forfeited his retirement pension worth an estimated one million dollars. Each of the Army officers sitting on the discharge board that determined LTC Loomis' fate called homosexuality "a sickness" or said they had "no tolerance" for homosexuality. Efforts to remove those officers from the discharge board for bias failed.

The Army based its discharge on a videotape seized during an arson investigation. An arsonist set fire to LTC Loomis' home in 1996. Civilian authorities investigating the arson found the videotape, which depicts LTC Loomis in private adult consensual sexual conduct, and handed it over to Army officials. The Army used the videotape as the basis for discharge, ending the decorated veteran's distinguished career. The Army provided LTC Loomis no assistance in responding to the tragedy of losing his home or possessions.

First of all they kicked him out 8 days prior to his retirement. Lie about your service record or allow your troops to rape their female counterparts and you're quietly given your retirement. Have an arsonist burn most of your house down, and civilian authorities will turn over a tape they find to the Army cops? That's disgusting! First of all what were "civilian authorites" doing viewing a videotape found at the scene of the fire? Did they think the arsonist filmed himself and left the tape? Second they had no right to turn over the tape to military authorities. I'd be suing the hell out of said civilian authorities. Third after receiving the tape, isn't the military "asking" about his sexuality by viewing it? Were they not at that point conducting an investigation (investigation is inquiry, inquiry requires questions, for if you had the answer why would you be inquiring) into Loomis' sexuality?

Also its nice to see that conflict of interest is not a problem in military courts. I can see the ad now "Haven't joined the 21st (or even 20th) century yet? Do you think, despite the mountain of scientific evidence to the contrary, that homosexuality is a sickness? Do you have 'no tolerance' for 10% of the population? Well Uncle Sam has a job for you!" Perhaps we'll let fundementalist Christians who think all Muslims will and should burn in hell run the military tribunals on Guantanamo Bay.

Good luck LTC Loomis. Go be a hero... again.

Injured dog finds way to hospital

Good dog. Good dog.

Hastert truck hit by water balloon
Man faces a felony charge after he threw a water balloon that hit a truck that Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert was driving. Hastert was a little wet but unharmed.

And justice for all,
But more justice for some.

Yahoo! News - Many Doctors Withhold Info From Managed Care Patients

No shit. Really? You mean if the doc knows my insurance won't pay for something shem won't tell me about it? 23% of doctors said they "sometimes" with hold information from patients on managed care while 8% said "often".

From the story, "The study found that doctors whose own salaries are closely tied to controlling costs were more likely than other doctors to report withholding information."

I'm shocked! /cringe/

Willamette Week Online | News INTERVIEW | High Priest

Paul Krassner -- who is this cat, and where do I find his work? Well, off to the /gasp/ library (it's like a World Wide Web, but it's in a building and full of books (bleached dead trees bound between other pieces of dead tree))

Oh BTW the google search that turned up this page is "Jackie Kennedy gets high". Have you ever heard the woman speak? Snoop Dogg got nothing on this chicks speech pattern. What the hell is that accent? New England stoner drawl?

I love Tiger Woods. Loved him since he destroyed the Masters in 1997. He's better at what he does for fun and profit than I am at anything... fapping included, and lemme tell ya I can rub one out.

Check this out. It's called Tiger Trap, and it's a phrackin Buick commercial. How can you not like this guy?

I love the way he introduces himself. He's on a golf course and he walks up to people and says, "Hi I'm Tiger Woods". These people are golfing for God's sake! There isn't a man, woman or child on the planet that's been on a golf course in the last ten years who doesn't know who Tiger fucking Woods is! The best analogy I can come up with is that your Catholic, you die, you go to the pearly gates, and the guy behind the counter says, "Hi I'm Saint Peter." The problem with that analogy is that there are more golfers who know who Tiger is than there are Catholics who know who Saint Peter is.

http://www.preventcancer.org/colossalcolon/
It's a colon. It's colossal.

Happy Birthday Wes!!!!!

http://www.700club.com/CBNNews/News/030626a.asp << HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

To save you three minutes of your life, Pat Robertson's CBN says that the recent rash of tornadoes in the US is caused by our attempts to negotiate peace in the Middle East. What an asshat.

Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble playing "All Your Love I Miss Lovin'". The switch from the minor blues to the minor 7th blues is silly scary good. He comes with a dunna dunna dun da blues riff... aw fuck it... here

From Yahoo! News -
White House Won't Release Medicare Memo

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration's top Medicare accountant has calculated how millions of senior citizens would be affected by bringing private managed care into the program, but the administration won't release the information.



An earlier analysis suggested that a Republican plan to inject market forces into Medicare could increase premiums for those who stay in traditional programs by as much as 25 percent. If that's still the case, it could help Democrats who argue that the GOP plan is risky for those who want to stay in traditional Medicare, where they can pick any doctor, rather than move to a managed care plan.


The administration's Medicare chief threatened to fire his top actuary, Rick Foster, if Foster released his calculations to Capitol Hill Democrats who requested the analysis, officials said.


Medicare chief Tom Scully said in an interview Wednesday that Democrats had no right to request the information from Foster in the first place.


"They don't have the right on the Hill to call up my actuary and demand things," said Scully, chief of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. "These people work for the executive branch, period."


Scully said he would release the analysis "if I feel like it."

Ah the true test of checks and balances... whether or not a member of the executive branch (you know us the peoples' employees) feels like telling us. I love the government!

http://www.senate.gov/~hatch/index.cfm?FuseAction=Statements.Detail&PressRelease_id=205148&Month=6&Year=2003

When I get around to it, please remind me to blow this shit up. What a fucking joke. This from the man that advocates destroying his constituents computers without trial! Thanks Orrin! Good to know you're watching out for us.* Also its good to know that you feel that the "rapid dissemenation of ideas" is a threat to national security. Those unwashed masses aren't fit to know, are they Orrin?


*us meaning approximately his rich friends...

Kerry Wood's slider makes men look foolish. Fernando Vina is batting about .310 this year. Wood struck him out on a slider that hit him. Vina swung at a pitch that hit him in the leg! Nice pitch.

Yahoo! News - Murder Trial Begins in 'Windshield' Death

FORT WORTH, Texas - Jurors saw pictures of the twisted, bruised and bloody body of a homeless man Monday as a former nurse's aide went on trial on charges she hit him with her car, drove home with his body lodged grotesquely in the windshield and left him to die in her garage.

Remember this one? Touching isn't it?

http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=68273&cid=6249951

Another +5 Slashdot comment.

Orrin Hatch says "ARGH! A pirate I be."

Serious question: Is a "non-combat related weapons discharge" the military's parlance for a suicide in Iraq?

White House edits Report by the E.P.A. -- Leaves Out Data on Climate Change

In the end, E.P.A. staff members, after discussions with administration officials, said they decided to delete the entire discussion to avoid criticism that they were selectively filtering science to suit policy.

The White House cut out paragraphs from studies that found human contributions to global warming, while adding quotes from a study that disputes that claim. The study that disputes that claim received funding from the American Petroleum Institute. Now I don't know jackshit about global warming and its causes, but I do know bullshit when I see it.

From the story:

"Political staff are becoming increasingly bold in forcing agency officials to endorse junk science," said Jeremy Symons, a climate policy expert at the National Wildlife Federation. "This is like the White House directing the secretary of labor to alter unemployment data to paint a rosy economic picture."

You know, it's like lying.

Zambrano just doubled to start the fifth! Good to see your pitchers hit. Stupid DH rule. Some NL manager called interleague games in AL parks "the closest thing to a day off you can have at the ballpark". My Mom could manage an AL team.

Corey Patterson just doubled home Zambrano. Patterson to the All-Star game. Sammy stays home.

You know what. I hate this idea.

Steve Stone to Chp "You're at your best during the drop-ins."

Translation: You broadcast best when reading a cue-card ad.

One of the better left-handed compliments I've heard in a while.

Bottom 4 - 2 out - 0-0 - Runner on second. 0-2 count on Adam Dunn

Mark Belhorn has been a huge disapointment this year. Where's the bat? Heh, he just watched a 1-2 pitch bounce in the dirt about 5 feet in front of him and go wild. It'd be funny if someone consistently swung at that pitch with two strikes and no one on to try and "steal first".

Nice play Reds 3B Aaron Boone... two steps back and toward third base, leap, make and over-the-shoulder grab on a high hopping grounder, plant on the 3rd baseline, and fire to first to get the guy by two steps. Highlight quality.

A wiki with friends would be a cool way to do this.


Game is in the top of the fourth, no outs, no score.

I'm going to start blogging while watching Chicago Cubs games, and I'm going to start now. Tonight's game is on WGN and the Cubs are playing the Reds. It's the bottom of the second, and no one's out. Score: 0-0.

Zambrano is on the mound tonight. He's been pitching well this year despite the 5-6 record. He's got 11 decisions all ready this year. He pitches well enough even when he loses to stick around for the decision.

Inmates' long wait for justice

Bill White spent five years in Cook County Jail awaiting trial for murder. But it took a judge only 15 minutes to rule the state's key witness "worthless" and set White free.
One week later, White's co-defendants, Otis English, 32, and Roland Gray, 50, walked out of the jail when the state dropped their cases, too.
The men--who call themselves the "Wrigleyville Three" because they were charged with the murder of a young couple near the Cubs' ballpark in 1997--were caught in a legal system that moves far too slowly, Cook County Sheriff Michael Sheahan said.
"In a murder case, a reasonable time in jail would be 1-1/2 or two years," he said. "Anything over two years is ludicrous."

Sweet Jesus, and they want us to give these people more power?

Yahoo! News - Microsoft to Quit Web Browsers for Mac

Sommers said Apple is in a better position to create a browser with more features and that offers a smoother experience because "Apple has access to functionality in the (operating system) that Microsoft doesn't."
"They can do things because they're developing on their own (operating system) that we as a third party programmer can't do," she said.

Well duh! Microsoft must not feel like they have any corporate competition in the software market if they let quotes like that out of the office. Hundreds of companies have leveled that same complaint at ol' M$ over the years.

Our Leader.

If Lincoln had PowerPoint at Gettysburg...

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Lost from the Baghdad museum: truth

So, there's the picture: 100,000-plus priceless items looted either under the very noses of the Yanks, or by the Yanks themselves. And the only problem with it is that it's nonsense. It isn't true. It's made up. It's bollocks.

Iraqi national museum /not/ looted. Most of the items were put in storage before the war. Few items actually missing!

Yahoo! News - Attacks in Jerusalem, Gaza Kill 23, Injure Scores

Attacks in Jerusalem, Gaza Kill 23, Injure Scores

Wow... Reuters covering events in the Middle East for what they are: terrorist attacks by both sides. The language in the story still refers to Palestinian "militants", but the headline is still the most neutral I have read.

Boston Globe Online / Business / WorldCom culture called 'poisonous'

In one incident cited by the investigators, accounting executive Buford Yates told an underling who questioned the company's books: ''Show those numbers to the [expletive] auditors and I'll throw you out the [expletive] window.''

(I'm assuming) Former Worldcom Executive Buford Yates according to an internal investigation conducted by WorldCom.

A quick poll: Was the expletive: A) Fucking B) Goddamn C) Asshat?

NEWS.com.au | Saddam 'source of Iraqi unrest' (June 10, 2003)

En route to Europe, Rumsfeld suggested the missing Saddam was still inspiring remnants of his regime to resist the US-led occupation.

"To the extent it's not proven
That he is not alive,
There are people who might fear
He could come back.
If they fear he could come back
They might be somewhat slower
In an interrogation to say what they know

It might give heart
To the Baathists
Who may want to hope
They can take back that country,
Which they are not going to succeed in doing.
So I think to some extent that is a fair comment."

Ah the power of cheese! Or wait no... That's the Poetry of Rumsfeld... right, or from the Right at least.

CMT.com: 100 Greatest Songs

CMT's 100 Greatest Songs of Country Music

lgf: Another British Attack on Wolfowitz

Look, the primary difference -- to put it a little too simply -- between North Korea and Iraq is that we had virtually no economic options with Iraq because the country floats on a sea of oil.

From the Department of Defense transcript of the Wolfolwitz Q&A session that the Guardian used to make the er... creative quote below.

Guardian Unlimited Politics | Special Reports | Wolfowitz: Iraq war was about oil

Asked why a nuclear power such as North Korea was being treated differently from Iraq, where hardly any weapons of mass destruction had been found, the deputy defence minister said: "Let's look at it simply. The most important difference between North Korea and Iraq is that economically, we just had no choice in Iraq. The country swims on a sea of oil."

US deputy defense secretary, Paul Wolfowitz

Duh.

I was watching a documentary that speculated that a space sail could propel a space ship at "millions of miles an hour". The documentary hypothesized that this technology could allow humans to colonize habital planets around distant stars by reducing travel time to "generations". To wit I say better move a little faster. Feeling arbitrary, I picked 5 million miles an hour. Here's the distance in miles to the nearest star Alpha Centauri which is galactically speaking "right next door" a mere four light years away -- 23462784000000 (23.4 trillion). It takes somewhere around 535 years to get to Alpha Centauri at 5,000,000 mph. That's about 20 generations, or about an eighth of recorded human history.

186000 << miles/second speed of light
31536000 << seconds in a year
5865696000000 << Miles in a light year
23462784000000 << miles to alpha centauri (4C) 23.4 Trillion Miles
4692556.8 << hours to alpha centauri at 5,000,000 mph
195523.2 << days to alpha centauri
535.68 << Years to alpha centauri

I don't which is scarier... that Bush speaks with cynical self-interest for himself and his oil cronies or that he actually believes the stupid crap that he spews.

Via email and my brother:
Isn't this great looking at it in hindsite?

http://www.theonion.com/onion3701/bush_nightmare.html

hmm, were they on to something back then?
--

Damn that's eerie...

Hey I got a email reply from television's Wil Wheaton! For those of you with some modicum of dignity Wil was Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation. He was by far the most reviled character in Star Trek history as proven by the existence of not one but two full newsgroups (alt.ensign.wesley.die.die.die and alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die) dedicated to his demise. Wil was also the lead in the movie Stand By Me.

Wil himself was personally vilified at conventions and the like. He currently blogs at wilwheaton.net, and has rehabilitated himself in the geek community with his good writing, fan friendliness, and quick wit.

Wil was recently referenced in a "Statshot" from The Onion, which led to my question and this exchange:

Thus Spake goon@mchsi.com:

: Quick question:

:

: With your recent appearance in "The Onion" you've completed one of my three

: pop life goals -- namely to be referenced in "The Onion".

:

: The other two goals are being the question to a Jeopardy! answer and being

: referenced on The Simpsons.  How are you doing on those two?

:

Getting on the simpsons is the hardest thing in the WORLD. I've been trying 

for almost 10 years.



But I *was* a Jeopardy answer. I think they used my picture, or something like 

that. :)



Wil



-------------------------------------------

 WIL WHEATON DOT NET

May Peace Prevail On Earth

This is almost as good as the time Bruce Campbell wrote me back!

Overheard:

If Florida is America's wang, does that Texas our nut-sack?
If so, I guess that means we're tea-bagging Mexico.

I had a +5 /. comment today. Well, bully for me!

Digital Video (realistic) Dream Machine:

I've been fleshing out plans for a new machine lately. I've moved away from gaming, which used to drive my hardware purchasing. Unfortunately, I've replaced it with a pastime that's nearly as cash intensive -- video production. Video production requires speed -- raw processor speed, hard drive speed, RAM speed etc... What it does not require is 3D processing power, which as a gamer was my main focus. To wit, I've wasted a lot of money on 3Dfx and GeForce boards, but now I need to start again from scratch.

Keeping this realistic (within my buying power), requires quite a few compromises, but in the end I should have a "rip and flip" video machine that will do near realtime or better video conversions and merciless capture and video I/O features.

• 400W Black Full Tower Case -- $100 -- Tons of bays, big power supply, and cool Alienware ripoff case design make this a winner.
  
• Asus A7N8X Deluxe motherboard -- $160 -- Nforce2 based mobo from a solid company, solid specs, includes USB 2.0/Firewire/Serial ATA for room to grow
  
• Athlon XP 2000 -- $100 -- The sweet spot in the AMD processor line right now. I might bump this up a little when I actually get around to buying, but I want to keep the amount spent on a processor around $100. Besides when the 2800 XP is $100 I can always pop in a replacement.
  
• 512 MB PC-2700 RAM -- $130 -- Fast RAM and enough of it.
  
• 120 GB Western Digital Caviar WD1200JB hard drive -- $150 -- Tons of storage space, though not the fastest hard drive around. A later addition would be a pair of smaller (40 GB for another $150) drives to run in a striped configuration for video conversions.
  
• ATI All In Wonder 7500 -- $125 -- The "Swiss Army knife" of video cards. Like most AiW cards the 3D performance of this card isn't great, but the TV tuner, video in and video out features, along with the remote control and good software make this card too much of a value to pass up.
  
• Lite-On 40/12/48 CD-RW -- $65 -- Good performance, good reviews, and good price. I'd like a Plextor, but hey $35 extra is $35 extra.
  
• Creative 52X CD-ROM -- $35 -- Cheap and reliable... mmm cheap.
  
• Teac Floppy Drive -- $15 -- Eh... It's a floppy.
  
• Keyboard ? -- $20 -- A keyboard, non-ergo, non-crappy.
  
• Intellimouse Explorer 5 button optical mouse -- $35 -- I love this mouse. Something that M$ got right.
  
• Samsung 19" SyncMaster 950B monitor -- $190 -- Nice 19" monitor for a good price.
  
• Altec Lansing 251 5.1 Speakers -- $75 -- 5.1 speakers for under a $100? Yep. Klipsch sound quality? Nope. Then again Klipsch 5.1's check in at about $500.
  

Grand total -- $1200.

I can cut some bucks by not getting a monitor and the speakers to get it below $1000, but this is a dream so let's keep 'em and figure out a way to get $1200:)

One of my favorite sports quotes of all time:

The hapless 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers had started the season 0-12. Going into their 13th game against the AFC powerhouse Pittsburg Steelers, things didn't look to improve much. They didn't. The Bucs got drubbed 42-0 to fall to 0-13 on their way to a winless season. After the game a reporter asked Tampa Bay coach John McKay, "What do you think about your team's execution today ?".

"I'm in favor of it," McKay replied.

Brilliant.

mcSey's Ten favorite bands

1. The Sound of Urchin
   
2. The Youngblood Brass Band
   
3. The Beastie Boys
   
4. The Meters
   
5. James Brown
   
6. Gene Ammons
   
7. Vinyl
   
8. Toots and the Maytals
   
9. Calypso King and the Soul Investigators
   
10. Tenacious D <<-- Laugh its funny

From MSNBC News

Scott Ritter of Delmar is well known internationally as an outspoken, former U.N. weapons inspector. Now more information is coming to light about Ritter's past and a disturbing arrest. His attorney confirms he was arrested in 2001, but neither she nor police will discuss the details.

It turns out that Ritter, who has been very critical of Bush's warmongering, may or may not have been arrested in 2001 for one of my "favorite" online crimes -- soliciting sex from a person it's completely legal to solicit sex from. It turns out he was probably arrested for attempting to solicit sex in an Internet (probably AOL) chatroom from someone he may (or may not) have thought was a 16 year old girl. Of course he did no such thing in reality. Instead he solicited sex from a definetly legal (probably 30-40 something, probably male) person posing as a 16 year old girl in an Internet (probably AOL) chatroom. Ritter was never charged. Forgetting the shaky, though precedent covered, legality of the arrest, this is the kind of thing that gets conspiracies started.

An outspoken critic of administration policy charged with an indefensible crime... My best guess is this is the last we ever hear from Mr. Ritter. He will get the message, "Be quiet and this will go away, but if you keep talking we keep alledging." This is the kind of crime that government can use to destroy someone without the slightest bit of proof. The accusation itself is enough to sully his reputation with the majority of media sheep. Those who will not look past the entrapping nature of the crime he's charged with. Those who will not look for real evidence of guilt or innocence if one assumes this is actually a crime. Check the lead of the MSNBC story above. His arrest is "disturbing" even though no charges were ever filed. When no charges are filed, I assume that the arrest was in error. MSNBC obviously assumes he was guilty of something if they feel his mere arrest was disturbing. Do you think that if he'd have been arrested for accounting fraud but no charges were ever filed that they would either label the arrest "distrubing" or cover it at all?

Just watched a great basketball game, and it was a pro game! I don't usually watch the NBA, but Yao vs. Shaq was too much to pass up.

John Le Carre's brilliant analysis of the current situation in regards to Bush's warmongering. Certainly passes the Seamus Heaney "Damn, I wish I wrote that" test.

A better economic stimulus plan. Laugh. It's funny.

Letter from Sullivan Ballou to his wife Sarah written July 14, 1862

My very dear Sarah:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days -- perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure -- and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing -- perfectly willing -- to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows -- when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children -- is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles I have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me -- perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours -- always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan

Ballou died at the First Battle of Bull Run on July 21, 1862.

Events I'm glad I missed

• Rape of Nanking
  
• Bataan Death March
  
• World War One gas attacks
  
• Hiroshima 08/06/1945
  
• The Khmer Rouge Killing Fields
  

Events I wish I'd seen

• The Liberation of Paris
  
• The Apollo 11 Moon Landing
  
• The first public demonstration in 1972 of ARPANET (later called the Internet)
  
• Woodstock
  
• 50th Reunion of the soldiers who fought at Gettysburg
  

Bush's approval rating sits at a solid 58% according to the latest Gallup poll. My question is simple, who the hell are they polling? Have you ever met anyone who has been polled on the president's approval rating? Have you ever met anyone who has been polled in any survey that you have heard about in the news?

I didn't think so.

Yahoo! News - The Who's Townshend Says 'I'm Not a Pedophile'

LONDON (Reuters) - British rock star Pete Townshend, guitarist with legendary band The Who, on Saturday admitted paying to view Internet child pornography but denied he was a pedophile and said it was for research purposes.

Talk about a no win situation...

TV Ads Say S.U.V. Owners Support Terrorists

But some local affiliates say they will not run them. At the ABC affiliate in New York, Art Moore, director of programming, said, "There were a lot of statements being made that were not backed up, and they're talking about hot-button issues."

Reformed convservative Arianna Huffington is running ads throughout the country claiming that gas guzzling SUV's owners support terrorism through the increased profits that go to oil producing states. Some of these countries then supposedly use this money to pay terrorists...

Iffy connection at best but I love her technique for one reason. It undermines those stupid-ass drug money support terrorism commercials. I don't buy a word of it, but I'm especially scared that Art Moore got a conscience about this. Since when does advertising have to be truthful?

In the grand tradition of Slashback, some quickies from today's web journeys.

• Talg's Blog -- Interesting "man on the street" Israeli blog. I'm still looking for a corresponding Palestinian blog.
  
• No I will not fix your computer. -- Good rant on the free tech support hackers are asked to give so often.
  
• A great T-shirt from wilwheaton.net.
  

Web Log Action from blogger truthlaidbear. A fine idea -- actual activism combined with blogging (as opposed to pissing and moaning like I do).

It's snowing here. Light lilting cold snow that blows and drifts. It's too cold for it to be snowing, but no one told the weather that apparently. The frozen tundra outside has my daughter and I cooped up in the house. We're working on her webpage. I'll let you know when it's done. I'm sure that you'll want to see it;)

I watched the Ohio State/Miami football "championship" game last night. Ohio State won 31-24 in double OT. One of the greatest football games that I've seen I tell ya. Double overtime for the national championship, an upset winner and disgusting grevious injuries (Willis McGahee's knee was bent into a /very/ unnatural position) -- what more can I guy ask for in a football game. After the Iowa/USC debacle the other night, the Fiesta Bowl was a great consolation prize.

DPRK Official News Agency: Past news

The U.S. is stepping up the preparations for a war against the DPRK, persistently turning aside the latter's constructive proposal for concluding a non-aggression treaty. The U.S. has frequently committed aerial espionage against the DPRK. All this is reminiscent of alarming moves on the eve of a war.
But the U.S. should properly know who is its rival.
If the enemy invades even an inch of the inviolable territory of the DPRK, the people's army and people of the DPRK will wipe out the aggressors to the last man.

North Korea's official "news" agency. Iraq's site has some fun stuff on it. Send email to Saddam!