Friday, April 29, 2005
Why isn't this man President?
Salon.com | "An American heresy"
Al Gore on the nuclear option:
The world would be a better place if he was.
Al Gore on the nuclear option:
Having gone through that experience, I can tell you -- without any doubt whatsoever -- that if the justices who formed the majority in Bush v. Gore had not only all been nominated to the Court by a Republican president, but had also been confirmed by only Republican Senators in party-line votes, America would not have accepted that court's decision.
Moreover, if the confirmation of those justices in the majority had been forced through by running roughshod over 200 years of Senate precedents and engineered by a crass partisan decision on a narrow party line vote to break the Senate's rules of procedure then no speech imaginable could have calmed the passions aroused in our country.
The world would be a better place if he was.
The Neoconservative Party Agenda
My fellow American’s I am here tonight to lay out the platform of the Neoconservative Party. As you know the Neoconservative Party was formed out of the remnants of the Republican party, when godless heathens such as John McCain and Christopher Shays tore our grand old party apart with less than unquestioning devotion to our dear leader George W. Bush. As the sainted founder of our party Dalai Bush and his appointed successor his holiness Jeb deserve nothing less than our blind support and this forms the first plank in our platform:
The Neoconservative Party will give it’s unquestioning support to anyone George W. or Jeb Bush supports.
If dear leader wishes to appoint a racist judge, why you should worry? You’re not black. If dear leader wishes to appoint pro-life judges, why should you worry? You’re not a woman, or if you are a woman you are the sort of good Christian that obeys her husband will acquiesce to all his decisions. I can you assure this ladies your Neoconservative husband would never advise you to get an abortion even if you’re raped or your life is in danger.
Our second policy plank deals with the Bill of Rights. Polling has told us that people like the Bill of Rights in principle; however several of those rights allow people to dissent with Dear Leader. Changing the Constitution at such basic level is problematic. Traitorous Democrats and Republicans are known to value the Constitution more than they do our dear leader. This will make it very difficult to change the Constitution, and this forms the basis of our second plank:
The Neoconservative Party will ignore the Constitution where we do not agree with it.
The free press will be bought where it cannot be outright coopted and made an arm of government. A free press dissents and dear leader and by extension the Neoconservative Party cannot tolerate that. Those who advocate free speech should look to the example of the dangers of free press. The freedom to assemble allows the dissemination of differing ideas and thus cannot be tolerated. We will use our police force to break up any assembly not in support of dear leader. As noted Neoconservative member Tom DeLay is fond of quoting, “There is no separation of church and state.”; thus much like in the glorious days of feudal monarchy any citizen not a member of the same religion as dear leader shall be considered treasonous. These ideas were originally put for by radical activist liberals and can safely be ignored on that ground alone.
The Fourteenth Amendment will also be ignored. The Equal Protection clause is nothing but an excuse for blacks and gays to use activist judges to force their radical negrosexual agenda upon the good God fearing Christians whites of this land. Do you really believe coloreds and homosexuals are your equals? Neither do we in the Neoconservative Party.
The third plank of the Neoconservative Party deals with personal responsibility. America was founded by rugged idealists who supported themselves and therefore:
The Neoconservative party believes that every free man is responsible for his destiny and that of the woman under his protection.
While the Neoconservative Party in no way supports the First Amendment, since dear leader has the entire military under his control and thus more weaponry than any citizen could amass, we believe that each man should have access to the proper weaponry to take responsibility for he and his woman’s destiny; thus we hold the Second Amendment to be a sort of eleventh commandment. Each man has a sacred right and duty to keep and bear arms.
We further propose the creation of a morals police to ensure that each man is securing his own destiny and properly raising his family and tending to their spiritual needs. A man must work to secure his destiny; thus he cannot always be by his children’s side. The morals police will also be responsible for enforcing our Federal Doctrine of Education. The most innovative part of our Doctrine of Education is that it is based solely on prayer. The morals police will replace classroom teachers in our hopelessly liberal schools and encourage the students to pray for knowledge. No actual instruction will be given. The students will pray and God will enlighten them.
Now we turn to foreign policy. The Neoconservative Party believes that God put oil on this Earth for the use of the American people. This forms the basis for our the first plank of our foreign policy platform.
The Neoconservative Party believes we should invade all Middle Eastern oil producing states take their oil, kill their leaders, and convert the rest to Christianity.
Her Holiness Ann Coulter first proposed this idea in 1 A.9/11. And now in year 4 A.9/11. we feel the time has come for St. Coulter’s idea to be fully implemented. Liberals have long complained about raping the environment to provide oil for our cars and factories. Even a liberal should be able to see the advantages of raping someone else’s environment (and women while we are at it) to provide that oil. As to the current residents of the countries we will be raping for oil, I offer the advice of a Texas judge, “When it’s inevitable lie back and enjoy it.” Mother Nature, that godless hussy, would do well to get the same message.
Diplomacy is essential to any world power; however, diplomacy without the threat of force and coercion often leads to compromise and compromise in anathema to the Neoconservative Party. This forms the basis for our next foreign policy plank:
The Neoconservative Party believes that all diplomatic missions should be undertaken with at least a carrier group of air and naval support.
Nothing convinces a recalcitrant “ally” to support us like a few missile tests done over their airspace, and truly if they were our ally they wouldn’t be recalcitrant; thus if the test goes wrong and happens to blow up something Haliburton or one St. Cheney’s companies can rebuild they got what they deserved.
Finally we return to domestic economic policy. Dear leader has called for an ownership society. We of course whole heartedly endorse dear leaders policy, and while our founders were hopeless radical liberals. Even more radical liberals later changed parts of the Constitution that we choose not to ignore. These parts inform our first economic plank.
The Neoconservative Party supports the reinstitution slavery so that all free men have the capital and labor to meet their familial responsibilities.
While we do not believe that slavery should be based on race, the coloreds will make up a disproportionate amount of the new slave class. To create this slave class all those in debt, that is with debts greater than their assets will be indentured to their debtors to work off their debt at an hourly wage of $5.00. Further any children created by the indentured will remain slaves permanently thus ensuring a steady flow of impeded labor for free men everywhere.
In an ownership society each man owns his property as such he is free to do with at he pleases therefore:
The Neoconservative Party supports the torture of dissidents and slaves.
Slaves, as property, may be freely tortured by their owners. Freemen who dissent shall disappear in the night. Freemen who do not dissent but still disappear in the night were in the wrong place at the wrong time. No system of governance is perfect.
As the Neoconservative Party support the personal responsibility and independence of every freeman, entitlements not directed to corporations shall be done away with. Each man is responsible for his, and those under his protection, future and therefore:
The Neoconservative Party supports the complete liquidation of Social Security and all other entitlement programs. We will then use these funds to support the morals police.
We, the Neoconservative Party, abhor all forms of taxation. A man’s property and wife belong to him and should not be taken by the government, therefore:
The Neoconservative Party will make the maximum effective tax rate 0%.
This will cause the government to accumulate huge deficits, but that’s fine because were only borrowing that money from our children. When its their turn they can figure out a way to pass their debt their children, or perhaps we could take all the slaves stuff and sell it to pay off the deficit.
Thank you.
The Neoconservative Party will give it’s unquestioning support to anyone George W. or Jeb Bush supports.
If dear leader wishes to appoint a racist judge, why you should worry? You’re not black. If dear leader wishes to appoint pro-life judges, why should you worry? You’re not a woman, or if you are a woman you are the sort of good Christian that obeys her husband will acquiesce to all his decisions. I can you assure this ladies your Neoconservative husband would never advise you to get an abortion even if you’re raped or your life is in danger.
Our second policy plank deals with the Bill of Rights. Polling has told us that people like the Bill of Rights in principle; however several of those rights allow people to dissent with Dear Leader. Changing the Constitution at such basic level is problematic. Traitorous Democrats and Republicans are known to value the Constitution more than they do our dear leader. This will make it very difficult to change the Constitution, and this forms the basis of our second plank:
The Neoconservative Party will ignore the Constitution where we do not agree with it.
The free press will be bought where it cannot be outright coopted and made an arm of government. A free press dissents and dear leader and by extension the Neoconservative Party cannot tolerate that. Those who advocate free speech should look to the example of the dangers of free press. The freedom to assemble allows the dissemination of differing ideas and thus cannot be tolerated. We will use our police force to break up any assembly not in support of dear leader. As noted Neoconservative member Tom DeLay is fond of quoting, “There is no separation of church and state.”; thus much like in the glorious days of feudal monarchy any citizen not a member of the same religion as dear leader shall be considered treasonous. These ideas were originally put for by radical activist liberals and can safely be ignored on that ground alone.
The Fourteenth Amendment will also be ignored. The Equal Protection clause is nothing but an excuse for blacks and gays to use activist judges to force their radical negrosexual agenda upon the good God fearing Christians whites of this land. Do you really believe coloreds and homosexuals are your equals? Neither do we in the Neoconservative Party.
The third plank of the Neoconservative Party deals with personal responsibility. America was founded by rugged idealists who supported themselves and therefore:
The Neoconservative party believes that every free man is responsible for his destiny and that of the woman under his protection.
While the Neoconservative Party in no way supports the First Amendment, since dear leader has the entire military under his control and thus more weaponry than any citizen could amass, we believe that each man should have access to the proper weaponry to take responsibility for he and his woman’s destiny; thus we hold the Second Amendment to be a sort of eleventh commandment. Each man has a sacred right and duty to keep and bear arms.
We further propose the creation of a morals police to ensure that each man is securing his own destiny and properly raising his family and tending to their spiritual needs. A man must work to secure his destiny; thus he cannot always be by his children’s side. The morals police will also be responsible for enforcing our Federal Doctrine of Education. The most innovative part of our Doctrine of Education is that it is based solely on prayer. The morals police will replace classroom teachers in our hopelessly liberal schools and encourage the students to pray for knowledge. No actual instruction will be given. The students will pray and God will enlighten them.
Now we turn to foreign policy. The Neoconservative Party believes that God put oil on this Earth for the use of the American people. This forms the basis for our the first plank of our foreign policy platform.
The Neoconservative Party believes we should invade all Middle Eastern oil producing states take their oil, kill their leaders, and convert the rest to Christianity.
Her Holiness Ann Coulter first proposed this idea in 1 A.9/11. And now in year 4 A.9/11. we feel the time has come for St. Coulter’s idea to be fully implemented. Liberals have long complained about raping the environment to provide oil for our cars and factories. Even a liberal should be able to see the advantages of raping someone else’s environment (and women while we are at it) to provide that oil. As to the current residents of the countries we will be raping for oil, I offer the advice of a Texas judge, “When it’s inevitable lie back and enjoy it.” Mother Nature, that godless hussy, would do well to get the same message.
Diplomacy is essential to any world power; however, diplomacy without the threat of force and coercion often leads to compromise and compromise in anathema to the Neoconservative Party. This forms the basis for our next foreign policy plank:
The Neoconservative Party believes that all diplomatic missions should be undertaken with at least a carrier group of air and naval support.
Nothing convinces a recalcitrant “ally” to support us like a few missile tests done over their airspace, and truly if they were our ally they wouldn’t be recalcitrant; thus if the test goes wrong and happens to blow up something Haliburton or one St. Cheney’s companies can rebuild they got what they deserved.
Finally we return to domestic economic policy. Dear leader has called for an ownership society. We of course whole heartedly endorse dear leaders policy, and while our founders were hopeless radical liberals. Even more radical liberals later changed parts of the Constitution that we choose not to ignore. These parts inform our first economic plank.
The Neoconservative Party supports the reinstitution slavery so that all free men have the capital and labor to meet their familial responsibilities.
While we do not believe that slavery should be based on race, the coloreds will make up a disproportionate amount of the new slave class. To create this slave class all those in debt, that is with debts greater than their assets will be indentured to their debtors to work off their debt at an hourly wage of $5.00. Further any children created by the indentured will remain slaves permanently thus ensuring a steady flow of impeded labor for free men everywhere.
In an ownership society each man owns his property as such he is free to do with at he pleases therefore:
The Neoconservative Party supports the torture of dissidents and slaves.
Slaves, as property, may be freely tortured by their owners. Freemen who dissent shall disappear in the night. Freemen who do not dissent but still disappear in the night were in the wrong place at the wrong time. No system of governance is perfect.
As the Neoconservative Party support the personal responsibility and independence of every freeman, entitlements not directed to corporations shall be done away with. Each man is responsible for his, and those under his protection, future and therefore:
The Neoconservative Party supports the complete liquidation of Social Security and all other entitlement programs. We will then use these funds to support the morals police.
We, the Neoconservative Party, abhor all forms of taxation. A man’s property and wife belong to him and should not be taken by the government, therefore:
The Neoconservative Party will make the maximum effective tax rate 0%.
This will cause the government to accumulate huge deficits, but that’s fine because were only borrowing that money from our children. When its their turn they can figure out a way to pass their debt their children, or perhaps we could take all the slaves stuff and sell it to pay off the deficit.
Thank you.
Simply the best.
www.AndrewSullivan.com - Daily Dish:
For big old tree hugging liberal Republican like myself... whaaaa! Yeah I said it. Economically conservative, socially libertarian (try finding that in either party) and generally liberal in thought (whatever that means) I find myself in almost 100% agreement with Andrew Sullivan. He has the best political blog on the Int4rwebs.
"I don't think and have never said that we're in the grips of a 'theocracy.' We live in a constitutional democracy. Iranians live in a theocracy, and I am aware of the difference. But one element of our politics - one that happens to have a veto on Republican social policy - does hold that religion should dictate politics, and that opposition to a certain politics is tantamount to anti-religious bigotry. They're very candid about that, as we saw last Sunday. As Bill Donahue put it: 'The people on the secularist left say we think you're a threat. You know what? They are right.' Very senior Republicans echo the line that there is a filibuster against 'people of faith.' This isn't just about gays, although we've felt the sting of the movement more acutely than most. It's about science, stem cell research, the teaching of evolution, free access to medical prescriptions, the legality of living wills, abortion rights, censorship of cable and network television, and so on. The Schiavo case woke a lot of people up. I was already an insomniac on these issues. Maybe I'd be more effective a blogger if I pretended that none of this was troubling, or avoided the gay issue and focused on others. But I'm genuinely troubled by all of it, and by what is happening to the conservative tradition. I'd like to think that a qualified doctor like Bill Frist could say on television that tears cannot transmit HIV. But he could not - because the sectarian base he needs to run for president would not allow it. I'm sorry but that's nuts. I'm glad Glenn is now calling attention to all of it. "
For big old tree hugging liberal Republican like myself... whaaaa! Yeah I said it. Economically conservative, socially libertarian (try finding that in either party) and generally liberal in thought (whatever that means) I find myself in almost 100% agreement with Andrew Sullivan. He has the best political blog on the Int4rwebs.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
The Neoconservative Party Platform
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Dean Scream vs. Bolton Blowups
Wonkette - Ranting Upward
Wonkette compares the Dean Scream vs. the Bolton Blowups.
Dean: Out of control screaming not very presidential
Bolton: Out of control screaming exactly what the UN needs.
Wonkette compares the Dean Scream vs. the Bolton Blowups.
Dean: Out of control screaming not very presidential
Bolton: Out of control screaming exactly what the UN needs.
Ah the wisdom of our representatives.
NBC5.com - Irresistible Headlines - 'Sextravaganza' Spurs Controversy At Virginia College
And the bigots run the show.
But Virginia State Sen. Ken Cuccinell (R)i disagreed. "They're pushing a pro-sex agenda and an anything-goes agenda," Cuccinelli said. "And that's what this Sextravaganza is all about."
Organizers said the fair will provide 15 booths with information on abstinence, condoms and self-help exams, as well as sexual orientation, which has also riled Cuccinelli.
"You can't have safe homosexual sex. There is no such thing and yet one of the sponsoring groups is the homosexual group on campus," he said.
And the bigots run the show.
Good Cardinals Blog
Get Up, Baby, Get Up!
IMHO not as good as the previous two, but they've got a good blogroll of other Cardinals blogs down the left frame.
IMHO not as good as the previous two, but they've got a good blogroll of other Cardinals blogs down the left frame.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Great marketing
THE 1 MILLION DOWNLOAD CHALLENGE - Opera Web Browser
Opera makes a web browser (think the thing that your using to look at this page). They just released the new version 8 of their software. The CEO of Opera jokingly said he'd swim across the Atlantic if 1 million people downloaded it in the first four days. Guess what. Three and a half days later they'd had 1,050,000 downloads. Guess who's "going for a swim".
(It's a joke, but it's fun to see a company with a sense of humor.)
Opera makes a web browser (think the thing that your using to look at this page). They just released the new version 8 of their software. The CEO of Opera jokingly said he'd swim across the Atlantic if 1 million people downloaded it in the first four days. Guess what. Three and a half days later they'd had 1,050,000 downloads. Guess who's "going for a swim".
(It's a joke, but it's fun to see a company with a sense of humor.)
Boing Boing: French court bans DRM for DVDs
Boing Boing: French court bans DRM for DVDs:
Oh those wacky French. Who'd have thought that they had a better right to copy system than we do?
"'A French appeal court just issued a ruling preventing the inclusion of anti-copying measure on DVD. This is after a man who was not able to copy a DVD he purchase to a VHS cassette so he can watch it at his mother's place. Which is considered private copying and is a consumer right in France. He got the help of a consumer protection group to sue the Film Studio that produced the DVD. Film studios have one month to unprotect DVDs (I assume it is not for DVD that you already own)."
Oh those wacky French. Who'd have thought that they had a better right to copy system than we do?
Brew Crew Ball :: A Milwaukee Brewers Blog
Brew Crew Ball :: A Milwaukee Brewers Blog
Good Brewers blog, and for the Cards fans I'm still looking.
Good Brewers blog, and for the Cards fans I'm still looking.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Don't be me even more an asshat Santorum
Weather info could go dark
Man Dog Santorum proposes blacking out the National Weather Service so that Accuweather, based in PA, can make money.
Man Dog Santorum proposes blacking out the National Weather Service so that Accuweather, based in PA, can make money.
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